Life In Voicemail

Life In Voicemail, mark II

2007-05-22T15:05:00.000-05:00

It's back. New blog. New rules. Check it out.

And So It Ends -- But It's Going Out With A [Hilarious] Bang.

2006-12-20T16:19:00.000-06:00

Update #1 (4/19/2007): Yet another lame attempt from Colleen pretending to be someone else in an effort to know why the relationship with her went sour (See the 3rd/4th comment in this entry, and the 1st comment in the very first entry of this blog to see her first attempts). She talked to me via the instant messenger embedded in this blog to the right. This time she pretended to be an Allison. I let her believe that I didn't know who she was -- though she easily gave it with her questions, assumptions, choice of language, and punctuation (Compare this conversation with her emails). You can read the entire conversation I had with her here.

Update #2 (4/20/2007): ...And she comes back yet again. This time I had to tell her that the jig was up and to leave well enough alone. Part of me thinks that I was being too mean to her. But then again, she tried to have me murdered. So why should I care about how unpleasant my typed words were to her? Read the entire conversation here.

--

Awesome, I just turned 21. Anyway...

Unfortunately, I just haven't had the time to make updates because of school, work, family, etc. As it stands I have 150+ unreviewed voicemails and I have neither the time nor the motivation to continue on with this blog, even as short-lived as it was. So, yes, I've decided to do away with the blog, and what better day to do so than today? Why? Because I just walked in the door to hear a ringing phone.

The person calling? Why it's Colleen of course (This can only end in hilarity now). And she's assumed, like always, that I was home but ignoring her calls all day. So she decided to leave lots of delightful emails and voicemails expressing how she was feeling. She even called information to find out the number to my job and spoke to my manager looking for me. In actuality, I had just come home from spending the previous day and night over a family member's house and wasn't aware that she was trying to get in contact with me. Colleen and I talked for a little bit (2 and a half hours). She was questioning whether I wanted to continue seeing her, and I told her that right now I just didn't have to time to be in a relationship with anyone because of life's other obligations. She was thankful that I gave her an answer that she wanted to hear so she could stop being in limbo. And then, just as I expected, she crafted a fictitious reason to get pissed-off. Of course that's normal for her to do. The difference this time is that I think she finally blew a gasket, and she's promised to have me "jumped" by "her people." For what reason? I don't know. I mean, it's no secret that she's crazy, but this is a new level of psycho for her. Alas, I gave her my address and await the fulfillment of that promise with a smile on my face. In the meantime, together we can read the thoughtful emails and listen to the wonderful voicemails she's spent her day making just for me.

Even as I write this last entry, I've gotten a call from a "Mario" telling me "to leave Colleen alone." LOL, I don't even talk to her unless she calls me while I happen to be home, or unless she sees me while I'm at school in the middle of something and she walks over to bug me. There was no real time to be with her, hence why I had to call things off.

Even though it's been a short ride, it's really been fun. I'll see you on another blog. And now I leave you all with probably the best post of the blog. Enjoy.

The Emails:

When I came in the door, answered the phone, and told her that I hadn't been home the whole time; she tells me: "In that case, I left some nasty emails, but now that I know that you weren't home (um, duh?), just ignore them and delete them." Here are the emails in detail:

And now the voicemails. Let's start with the phone activity logs though. Brought you to by Vonage (her calls to me are highlighted in red, my calls to her, in green):

The last call to her at 10:42pm was actually just a mistake when someone else at my house pressed redial. I haven't bothered to count how many times that is that she called, but freakin' woah.

And finally, here are all the voicemails she left from the first to the last (Dec. 19th to the phone threat on Dec. 20th) - 8min 29sec:

( if the Odeo stream isn't working, try listening to the voicemails here)

Now who would want to date a 27-year-old woman that acts like that? Unfortunately, I did at some point. -- Oh, and yes, you did hear her flushing a toilet purposely as a voicemail (twice). I didn't quite understand that one either. And no, that guy in the last voicemail couldn't sound any more like a chump even if he tried. I'm just happy that he thoughtfully left the death threat (a criminal offense) on a recorded message so that I can take it to the police tomorrow morning :)

Oh well, I hope you all enjoyed this short little adventure. I know I did. I'll see you all around.

I Just Got In

2006-10-15T06:15:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I just got in the house. I have some missed calls and some new messages to go along with them :)

The first call is my mother, the rest are Colleen. This is my first time home since Tuesday evening. I just got back this morning at about 2 am. I haven't talked to Colleen since Friday afternoon at school.

Colleen thought I was home but just ignoring her calls. I wonder why she assumed that I was ignoring her calls rather than just not being home to answer the phone.

Mom:
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 4:42 pm

Colleen:
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 11:38 pm
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 11:42 pm
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 11:50 pm
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 11:56 pm

Yeah, I'm Still Missing Calls... Big Update

2006-10-15T02:54:00.000-05:00

Wow, so it's really tipping towards a month on the calendar since my last post, huh? It's not that I haven't been getting voicemails, I've just been busy and out of the house lately. And since these posts usually take a long time to make (converting, editing, uploading and writing), If I can't spare an appreciable amount of time, I just can't really update. I'll try to make sure that I update regularly from now on so that this doesn't happen again. But I definately can't update every time I get a new voicemail so I think I'll just start updating once a week with a big compilation.

And now, I present to you all the voicemails that I've received since my last update in order from oldest to newest. No date, time, and situational info though, it's just too many messages to do that this time. And I must say, I think I did a great job editing out phone numbers on these ones (no more long silences), so I'm happy about that. The most recent voicemails deserved their own post though, so you can read and listen to those ones above if you haven't already. All together, this is about 10 minutes worth of audio, but I broke it into 4 parts.

Part 1 of 4

Part 2 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Part 4 of 4

Wake up sleepy head

2006-09-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

Once I get enough posts up I think it'll be interesting to do some statistical work. Stuff like seeing what percentage of my voicemails are left by men versus by women; what percentage are left in the morning, afternoon, and at night; and what percentage are received because I out was of the house versus because I was sleeping.

Here are 2 voicemails that I got from women. This morning. Because I was sleeping ...or something. I don't make it a habit to get up around noon, but c'mon it's the weekend :) --Oh, and another coincidence is that I actually met both of these people online first.

This is Lyn. Now I met Lyn in a chatroom about a week or so ago, and these past few days she's been trying to give me a call but has never gotten around to it. I haven't actually talked to her voice to voice before, but I guess she managed to call late last night. I was still up around that time but I'm thinking that I must have had my headphones on so I never heard the phone ring:

September 24th 2006 - 12:38 am

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This voicemail is from Jen. I met her online oooooo, I dunno, maybe a 2 years ago? She's a gamer, so she's good people :) And actually, she's one of two Jen's that I met online. So for clarification purposes, we'll refer her as Jen2; Jen1 is a complicated story which i'm sure will come up at some point throughout my blogging adventures. Anyhow, Jen2 and I are good friends and earlier this year I flew out to where she lives to visit and see her in person. I had a good time. She's a wonderful person, great hostess, excellent chef, and an extraordinary mother. I'm planning to fly out to visit her and her awesome boyfriend (he's my hero) again sometime. Hopefully it'll be later on this year.

***Sections in this voicemail are muted out to keep out sensitive info***

So anyway, I think she was just calling to touch base; I don't know, I haven't called back yet:

September 24th 2006 - 11:34 am

Before I clear the inbox...

2006-09-23T23:34:00.000-05:00

Before I clear the voicemail inbox so that I can't mistakenly post an old voicemail thinking it's something new, here are few voicemails that are 1 to 3 days old:

My oldest brother who I don't see as often as I'd like to called to check in on me. I love my brother:

September 20th 2006 - 8:48 pm

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After some phone calls that didn't go so well the night before when Colleen (my ex) told me that it would be best for her to not talk to or see me for a couple of months so that she could "heal," she calls back the very next night to tell me that she actually wants to take me up on the offer of "just being friends.":

September 21st 2006 - 11:31 pm

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Right now my school is really acting shady with my financial aid. First off i've been "randomly selected" from amongst 20% of the school's students receiving financial aid to provide additional information about my crappy financial situation for the 2nd semester in a row, and then after that I'm asked to write and submit a statement about how my household payed for "obligated expenses" back in 2005 when I wasn't even going to school. wtf is that? Apparently even that's not enough though:

September 22nd 2006 - 2:37 pm

So what's playing?

2006-09-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

So I had been dating this girl that I met earlier this year on my 2nd day of school. I didn't start dating her my 2nd day of school, I just met her that day. Eventually we started dating though. We dated for about 7 months, but during that time we consistantly had this sort of hot/cold/on/off relationship. Simply put, we just weren't getting along...so why am still I so attracted to her? I have no clue.

We split up recently...but put another way, we're just going through our most recent of many split ups. Maybe this one is for keeps, I dunno. However, we're trying out this 'friendship' thing because neither of us wants to go on without seeing and talking to one another. At school on Friday I asked her if she wanted to do something this weekend and after a little phone tag, we're going to be seeing a movie tomorrow. She decided to give me a call at 10:19 am this morning when I was asleep to tell me what's playing at the theatres. Here's the voicemail:

September 23rd 2006 - 10:19 am

Please leave a message

2006-09-23T15:49:00.000-05:00

Today I was cleaning out my home phone's voicemail inbox--something that I rarely do--and as I was going through listening to message after message, I realized that if someone didn't already know who I was and was only listening to the voicemails, they would probably mistake me for a person that actually has a life.

I don't have a life, but I do have an internet connection, and now I have an internet blog. This blog is about those times when I miss calls at home and someone actually decides to leave a message. I'll be sharing those messages with you, and i'll tell you who these strange people are that decide to fondle my voicemail box. :)

This first clip is just for testing purposes and isn't actually a voicemail.